when i'm a grandma......

i need to start a list of things to remember to do and not to do when i'm a grandma.......

1. never push my kids to out out and leave their newborn with me......of course i want to spend all the time i can with my grandkids, but i know how hard it is to leave a new baby for even a minute and being pushed into it is really, really wrong......

2. remember to make sure my kids know i still love them like crazy.......i don't feel like they love me less, but i definitely feel like my parents would much rather be with casey than me......which i guess is fine, but it'd be nice to know they still enjoy seeing me......my grandmother does a phenomenal job of making me feel loved and special AND it's obvious how much she adores casey......

3. be there when my kids want me to be........again of course i'm going to want to spend every second with my new grandbabies, but i need to remember i'm the grandparent, not the parent......my kids need time and space to get used to being parents and don't need people breathing down their neck.......

4. try to keep the criticism to a bare minimum.........and don't mask the criticisms in seeming off-hand comments......everyone needs to learn things in their own time and their own way.......unless the kid is in danger of being hurt by something they're doing, i want to make sure to keep as quiet as i can manage.......

5. tell my kids how good of a job they're doing.......new parents need support and constant reminders they're doing good.......there's a huge learning curve and it feels good to know you're doing well keeping up.......

6. don't expect to spend every second of a visit holding/feeding/otherwise monopolizing the baby.......share.......it's hard to watch someone else handling your baby for a long period of time.......show my kids that i'm comfortable just watching them hold their babies........

7. offer to take a family trip.......nowhere too far or exotic, but a trip when a baby's about a year old is a good idea i think.......we'll be there to help out, but the baby won't be so small to be scared to travel with them........

8. especially in the early days be helpful!.......be prepared to vacuum, do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook, clean the toilet, whatever needs to be done.......my kids need to focus on their babies and me coming to visit shouldn't be another effort.......i don't need to be entertained......i don't want to be a guest........i want me being there to be a relief not a pain......

9. don't go overboard on buying things.......ask what they need and get those things.......when in doubt get gift cards or give money to their 529 college fund or savings account........don't just get crap they don't want or need.......go shopping with my kids and their babies, let my kids pick some things out then pay for those things........

10. ask for advice......ask my kids if i'm feeding the baby the right way........holding the baby the right way.......everyone does things differently.......although by then i'll know how to hold a baby or feed a baby, that doesn't mean i know how to hold their baby or feed their baby the way they're comfortable with.......

ok, that's it for now!.......