Thursday, February 26, 2009

counting the minutes......

so while i'm not quite positive yet if i want to be pregnant or not right now, i'm anxiously awaiting next week when i can take a test and find out if this month was "the" month.......i mean i do want to be pregnant......i guess.......there's this nagging part of me that keeps saying that casey's my world and that this will negatively impact her.......in the long run i'm relatively sure she'll be glad she has a sibling - like when she's 30 or something, but until then, it's just going to be another person that wants her toys, her mom & dad's attention, and overall just someone that gets in her way and cramps her style.......i live each day not wanting anything to upset or hurt her, and i'm just so afraid that this will do both......i don't want to not be able to crawl chase after her because my belly's huge or i'm exhausted or because i'm holding a newborn (yes i'm aware she won't be crawling still by that point, but still you get my point).......and because our days revolve so much around casey's nap schedule, will she be bored that we have to stay in the house until kid #2 wakes up from a nap or angry that we have to leave the playgroup because kid #2 needs a nap?.......so all that's only a small piece of what's going on with me.......most of me wants to be pregnant and to have another kid.......really.......

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