hiking anyone?

i came across an article in the oct issue of parents magazine about how to handle emergencies - like what to do if hot coffee spills on your kid, what to do if you lose your kid in a store, and then one that caught my eye - what to do if you're confronted by a black bear while hiking.......yeah how often does that happen, right?.......well it's a serious answer, but hysterical nonetheless.......

here's what to do:

Wrong response: Play dead.

Smart move: Most black bears are not interested in people and can be scared away, says Tim Smith, a former wilderness EMT and owner of Jack Mountain Bushcraft and Guide Service, in Masardis, Maine. Stand up as tall as you can (hold your arms up to appear bigger), and speak in a deep, loud voice while backing up slowly. If the bear charges or starts to attack, believe it or not, you should fight back vigorously. If you can, hit him in the nose, since that's a bear's main sensory organ. Whatever you do, don't run. "If you run, the bear is going to chase you, and it can run faster than you can," says Smith. However you should play dead if a brown grizzly bear charges at you because they typically won't be scared away.

where do i even start here??......while i definitely wouldn't give a second thought to putting my life on the line for my kid, i somehow can't exactly picture me beating up a bear to get him to leave us alone......i really can't even fathom being calm enough to discern whether the bear's a black bear or a brown grizzly......i mean isn't color somewhat subjective?.......i'd be debating how brown they mean by brown while he's licking his lips getting ready to eat us......and it's not like you'd hit a brown grizzly in the nose and hit a black bear in the chin - it's a matter of beating him up or playing dead......pretty opposite ends of the spectrum there.......maybe we'll just stick to hiking in non-bear areas for a while........